Diabetes. It never sleeps or takes vacation. The schedule is grueling. But the reward? Saving your child's life EVERY DAY. I guess in the whole scheme of things how many people can really say that? I can.
However, even with a payout like that I find myself always thinking of the impact on my sweet Sydney's life. Every three months that goes by and we get another good A1C-I feel very fortunate. I often see headlines of other children gone too soon from his horrible disease. It's hard to isolate yourself from that. Can you imagine how the parents of those children feel? Perhaps they slept through the 3am check because of pure exhaustion? Perhaps they were rushing and gave the wrong insulin dose for dinner? Only to wake up in the morning to the unthinkable. My job as Sydney's mom comes at great cost.
You see diabetes management is like walking a tightrope. Too much insulin=low blood sugar and too little insulin=DKA (both of which can be deadly). There are things that I'm always telling myself I may have to do-but hadn't yet. One of those things that scares me is administering Glucagon for low blood sugar. Every year our Glucagon expires I'm so grateful.
Well-my day came. Sydney had just gotten over a round of antibiotics. Her sugars where yo-yo'ing all over the place. On Thursday night they seemed to stabilize so I sent her to school the next day. I received a call at 10:30 in the morning from the director saying she had a really bad low...somewhere in the 30's. EEEEKKK! I told her to take off her insulin pump, treat the low and re-check. She gave carbs and rechecked...40's. More carbs....40's....More carbs 30's... I arrived to the school and I took one look at her and knew it was coming. The "eyes glazed over" look. The "not with it" look. She started talking oddly and not making sense. Even though I felt helpless, I knew my time had come. I quickly assembled the glucagon pen and mixed the solutions. With one swoop I gave her the shot and headed immediately to the ER.
I expected her to vomit (side affect of Glucagon) but she didn't. On the ride there she was eerily quiet and kept trying to close her eyes. I pulled over to check her again...70. REALLY!?!? 70 after Glucagon? They admitted Sydney right away.
After 3 years of pumping-they insisted on MDI's (Multiple Daily Injections) while at the hospital. Yep 7 or more shots a day. They wanted to rule out that her pump wasn't malfunctioning. A night spent in the hospital checking sugars round the clock was torture but at least her numbers were good. I was glad to get her home and resume pumping. But my opinionated Sydney informed me that she wanted shots from now on. GREAT! Not really. I told my 4 year old she had a choice to make. Pump or shots but it had to be one. Shots were not exactly the easy road for an active snack happy toddler. But-my girl was sure.
For three months she received shots and seemed happy to have no-carb snacks between meals. The amount of cheese and pepperoni she consumed was unreal. But for three months she didn't have to wear a pump and worry about others asking her what it was. Three months and 630 shots later she was ready to put her pump back on.
The lessons learned in life have a profound affect on everything. Sydney never complains about getting shots or blood sugar checks. Honestly, I've learned my courage from her. If she can take this scary and unpredictable disease in stride than so can I.
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